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Yoga and True Happiness

More and more I’ve become so happy. I can’t remember the last time I was so happy. I am my happiest self.

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Yoga lead me to my happiness  because it showed me how to become more mindful.  When I explored my mind so deeply I  connected to my true self, I grew more aware of how things made me feel.  Being constantly aware of what makes me feel good is what has lead me to divine happiness. ” Does this make me feel happy?” Is a question I ask myself all day long about everything I touch, taste, see, hear and feel.

There were things about my life that shattered my happiness.  A messy home was at the core of it (I have a very scattered mind) Had it not been for yoga I would never had enough self awareness to really get to the core of my constant distress.   I read a great book called

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

I decided to implement her strategy straight away. (As well as recruit a super organized buddy for additional guidance)

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As soon as my closet was deeply cleaned (6 bags of garbage released) and my floors vacuumed, the rest tidied, such a sense of calm and serenity over took me.  The irony of it all is that I hate a messy home yet I am quite unorganized.  Now however as soon as things begin to pile up I quickly tidy it.  Doing this great big clean out really effected my outside life as well. Inside my life was harmonious and peaceful. Carrying this feeling into my outward life I felt jubilant happy and over joyed with life’s possibilities.

Do yoga!  What is the root of your unhappiness? Maybe you are unaware…As soon as you connect to it, you can fix it and true happiness (which is a level above) awaits!

Return to the Infinite

stardust_by_danich01-d5atc0xWe hold on to so much.  To our thoughts, to our life.  Today my teacher said during the final meditation “return to the infinite” and in that moment, I completely let go and I felt so much peace.  I thought, this really must be what it feels like the moment before death, completely peaceful! Surrendering the fight to survive.  Returning back to some infinite source. No longer having to hold on to anything.  I realized I need to carry that moment through out my day. Incorporate that “letting go” sensation into my life.  When I relinquish control and completely surrender the most beautiful things can just, be.

Yoga Bride Guide

We all know that our wedding day quite possibly is one of the biggest events in our life.  We also know the pressure that faces us that day. How well do you cope with stress? Here is a guide to help you feel relaxed and enjoy the day. I am here to help you invoke and maintain that feeling!
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On top of that maintaining a gorgeous figure  (let’s be honest, bridal shape is a level up from bikini shape) add this to your daily regimen from the day you read this to the morning of your wedding! Every day!  I promise not only will you look and feel beautiful relaxed and glowing you also will embody the body of the ultimate fit bride.

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Let’s begin with our breathing- tough day ahead at the office/work? Traffic? Emails? After you come home you need to cook dinner?  Who needs to plan a wedding on top of our daily stresses!
BREATHE- Sit down, or lay down. Place one hand on your lower belly and one hand over your heart.  Send the breath down to the navel and feel it swell like a balloon. PAUSE (long). Inhale again, this time filling the upper chest. PAUSE (long).  Begin to sip in a little more air gliding past the throat. HOLD just 2 beats and EXHAAAAAALEE it all out. DO THIS AS SLOW AS POSSIBLE.
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 Duration: Continue this wave breathing technique 3-5 times. 1/3 air to the belly 1/3 air to the upper lungs and 1/3 of the air to the back of the throat. As you hold at the top of the inhale mostly likely you will feel your heart beat and pulse, maybe in your wrists, or temples and in your chest, mentally   slowwww  it down, as you exhale out.  Immediatley, you will feel CALM! RENEWED! PEACEFUL!  Now you are ready to yoga!
Begin
Cat/Cow –  Benefits: Helps continue mindful breathing while waking up the back and preparing us for Down dog. Duration: Continue for 3-4 rounds
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Down dog-  Benefits: Changes our perspective, increases blood flow to the brain, strengthens and lengthens! Duration: For 3 long inhales and Exhales
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Tadasana- Benefits: Moves your mind into mental stillness, Duration 3 long breathes until the mind is quieted. Note: eyes can be closed.
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Vinyasa: Benefits: Starts to increase heat in the body and energy flow. Duration: 1 or 2 rounds, steadily increasing closer to the wedding day.
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Upward Dog: Benefits: This will open up blocked/surpressed emotions in your heart, this is something that can over time be blocked off due to planning and stress, adding up dog pose will help you on a daily bases open your heart to the world and to your significant other and prepare you for a lifetime of love and happiness ahead. YAY TRUE LOVE!
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Warrior II: Benefits:  This pose will help build strength focus and confidence, anything your wedding day throws at you, you will be able to handle! Ready  Steady and poised you are! Duration 2 long breaths on each leg.
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Tree Pose: Benefits:  Balance! Your life may feel out of balance as you lead up to the big day (given all that you have to do and plan for) Duration: 3 long breathes on each leg.
Tree pose will keep you rooted into the earth as you reach up towards the sun, adding a balancing pose helps bring balance into the body and harmony into the mind, it is great to bring into your daily practice as the benefits are  very helpful in the final meditation.
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Temple pose: Benefits: Hip opener, releases anger, tension and memories
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Invoke the inner goddess in you! Nobody wants a wedding night with stiff hips. NOBODY!
 Cool down:
Forward fold: Benefits: Cooling and elongating the back of the legs and spine, this can be done sitting down as well. Duration: 1 minute
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Sometimes this can appear very confrontational as it may not be that easy to do or feel that nice, however this in itself is a good lesson for you to face that confrontation  and practice surrender. As you breathe into the forward fold with each exhale try to relax a little deeper and surrender a little more. Ultimately we  learn in life there is hardly anything we can control except how we react to things.
Savasana- final meditation
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 Lay back on to the ground in corpse pose. Here you are supported by the gravity of the earth. Again letting go of the days worry, future anxieties and past depressions. Imagine your concsciounesss is like a rock floating down the clear waters of your mind, sinking into the darker depths. Observe your thoughts as they pass you by. Lay there for as long or as little as you like. Asking the universe to present all knowing truths and answers to anything you may inquire.
Continue this yoga routine as a part of your daily wake up, or mid day, or evening discipline to help you achieve a blissful mind set and a beautiful toned body.  Best of luck on your wedding day brides!
Namaste!
Spiritual It Girl
Kyle Elizabeth Lardner

Easy Breezy Beautiful

Freedom and weightlessness. That it was you are trying to find in the pose.  The heavier and more resistant you feel means the deeper you must go into this understanding.  Lightness. unnamed-5

     I don’t know if I have ever truly achieved any remarkable pose in yoga.  However, I have achieved what it is to feel remarkable.  Open, unlimited, expansive and positive.  Allowing energy channels to flow unblocked like an open highway towards my goals.
     The lines from tension and worry on my face have disappeared and have been replaced with glowing radiance.   I return to a state of relaxed ease, like a gentle breeze swiftly rolling over calming seas.

High Spirits

Hi Spirits! I know it has been awhile since I have written a blog.  It has been such an incredible, fast paced exciting month with big advances (small steps really) for my music and yoga career!
I released a new music video Carry On and I was asked by my yoga client to his film premiere (which was fantastic) Please go see Danny Collins!

11046600_10104766952361151_3016462140007457078_nI also got a call back for the 3rd audition my commercial agent sent me out on.  I felt like this month the universe just finally opened up.  Or maybe I did?  With the help of  Todd Savvas  (a spiritual teacher and sage who has  his own one of a kind guidance cards). He gave me a very in depth reading and then some reiki and helped me to re open my heart.  I felt the effects immediately (even a little popping sensation) and the next day I began to feel deep profound love again.  It inspired me to demo new music.  Which is what I spent yesterday doing.

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Yoga clients come and go, but that is always the exciting part! Music always dominates when yoga is more passive and then when more clients come to me the music is pushed to the side.  But now I find they are both demanding quite a lot of energy from me and it leaves me absolutely exhausted in the middle of the day.  After all I am a night owl and yoga requires me to be an early bird! Oh did I mention I am releasing my next album “IT GIRL”  April 22nd?  Stay tuned!

Namaste Spirits,

Kai

Singing to Meditate

Unknown-1Kirtan: Kirtana practice involves chanting hymns or mantras to the accompaniment of instruments such as the harmoniumtablas, the two-headed mrdanga and hand cymbals (karat alas).

One night she attends a Kirtan.

She holds onto her warm tea, in a clear glass jar with a soft white handkerchief delicately  wrapped around it.

She lays out a small wool rug and a beautiful cushion. And takes off her chunky black cable knit sweater.

Her  black mineral ring sparkles in the candlelight.

She sits by the door and waits for the the band to play.  She makes eye contact with the sitar player and the harmonium player. He is the lead and sings like an angel. However she still prefers the sitars player voice.

She opens her lips and begins to sing softly to herself.  Singing to meditate. To release the emotion of the worlds troubles.  Of her troubles. Tears gently stream down her face.

She keeps her eyes closed as to not flaunt this rare state of expression.

Songs change and she feels more uplifted, she begins to rise up off the floor. Allowing the drums and voices in the room to move her body.

When the women are asked to sing, their voices are so pure- she joins them.

Feeling a deeply repressed feminine energy awaken.

She can’t help but feel utterly moved when the men sing back, so strong their voices move through every fiber of her being.

She is nostalgic for such an ancient ritual in a modern world.

Although trying to go un noticed, she is noticed. For the healthy glow of her hair and skin, the physical health of her body and the look of ease on her face.

Secretly… her favorite part came at the end, holding her neighbors hands.  Sitting next to each other singing one last final AUM together.  Feeling the strength in her hands leave her and reassure the others.

She slips away in the night making no more sound. Only filled with song.

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Who is She?

The Spiritual It Girl- Free spirit, gypsy heart.

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Her hair is beautifully undone.

She probably has a yoga mat tucked under her arm.

She always carries a spare bikini bottom (just in case)

Half her pantry is her hair and skin care.

She’s vaguely aware of time because she doesn’t believe in it.

She cherishes the earth.

She is guided by the moon.

She wakes up and meditates and stretches.

The world is her oyster and she is the pearl.

She’s friends with the stars. Figuratively and literally.

She collects crystals.

Her eyes are always sparkling.

She always enters the room wearing her smile.

She has the confidence of a lion.

Her vibe is sexy, cool and mellow.

She thought she loved selfies, but now she loves that her boyfriend is a professional photographer. Click.

She loves the idea of it all.

She loves yoga for the art of it.

Her mind is on a butterfly farm.

Her heart is a cave full of diamonds.

Her soul is elegant and timeless.

Her spirit swims with the dolphins.

She hails from a palace of thought, a kingdom in the sky.

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Yoga and My Depression

I used to be so depressed.  I know, judging my photos you would never believe it! Or, you don’t even care because based on my photos what on earth does a girl like me get depressed about? I live in La, it’s in the water.

No but seriously, it was dark, vast and endless. I would close my eyes and black out, feeling title waves crash down on me to the point where, it’s not that I couldn’t breathe it’s just that I didn’t want too. It always came and always lingers in the dark edges of my psyche.  Waiting for me to abandon myself and it to resume control.  I am a musician and the depression would be hand in hand with highs and lows.  I always could go so high into a thought and into a song or musical moment… but what goes up must come down.  I also act and model and those, were like taking shots of rejection. Thank you casting director may I have another door slam in my face? Thank you modeling agency may I have another comment about how I am not tall enough, thin enough or “there’s no place for you in high fashion” or better yet…”No.”

Oh ok, cool, I’ll just go home and write a song about how shitty this city is (<- click the link to hear).  No worries, brush this all off my shoulders, wake up a new day, with a new attitude. Except, I couldn’t wake up. I couldn’t get out of bed. When I first moved to LA I layed in bed until night time or as close to the night as possible so I could go to sleep and make it all go away again. I thought sticking to music, being the master of my domain was a safer avenue. I could build my own studio, I could teach myself to produce music, I wouldn’t need anyones praise or critique I could just go off with my mind and play and sing and write and create and I did. And after I wrote albums of songs alone, I would go drive hours to  a studio in the middle of nowhere at all awful hours of the night and make the final recordings.  I would wake up and work in a retail job for minimum wage and completely frizz out over the fact I decided to leave college and pursue something I thought I could make happen no matter what the world stacked against me. But slowly my world started to crumble. Black out. Sob. Fantasize about death. Wanting to die. Black. A pile of bricks stacked on my chest. Writing happy songs, singing my soul to hope. Kept singing hopeful, kept dreaming brightly. Black out. Fall out. Fall down. Crushed. Bad people, bad business. Bad luck. Black. Blackness. It was so heavy. It was so terrible. Because everything about it betrayed all the gifts I was granted. If blessings could be counted, I’m a billionaire. I’m really good at writing music, I am a really good artist. But every path to pursuing is extraordinarily difficult.  I didn’t realize this until later, but similar to women who develop post partum depression, I too developed depression after creating. Especially albums. Holy moly, the end of an album you don’t want to know me in a month.  A complete psychological break down of doubt comes over me beyond comprehension. Crippling me.  Then depression. Then horrible cancer like doubt.  Eating away at every moment of truth I was ever granted in seeing and writing and creating.

Ok ok, now the yoga bit where I tell you it saved me and cured me and it is a wonderful thing.

Well…yes. But let me explain why.

On a physical level, the body holds stress and yes through a practice one opens the body and alleviates it.

On a psychological level, the body opening up allows the mind to do the same and start to regulate it’s thinking patterns so one is less reactive to the world around it and more of a “peaceful observer” if you will..not really affected or reactive.

On a spiritual level, there is something called a “Kundilini Experience.”

Kundalini

Wikipedia
 It is reported that Kundalini awakening results in deep meditation, enlightenment and bliss.
 I want to highlight this because, that is the level I feel when creating music.

So what I suffered from was something called Kundalini Syndrome. And it all made so much sense! I had intense spiritual experiences through music (see I kind of skipped the ladder of yoga) and went straight to euphoric heavenly states. I mean really beautiful out of the realm, heavenly blissful extraordinary visions. From those visions I would write music.  But what happens is, when you go that high in meditation, one must be guided safely back to the ground.  And since no body ever knew where the heck I was going, I would just plummet out of the euphoric state. No guide was there to show me the way back. It would send my entire nervous system into a shock.  Handling a reality, that I spiritually knew wasn’t real.  Feeling like a failure for not belonging in a  world that wasn’t the world I even wanted to belong too.

 

Yoga, brilliantly provided me a step ladder, from the ground, up to heavenly thoughts and gently back down again.

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Do I still go high to low? Sure, I am not a yoga master.  Does it go from bliss to suicide? No, the spectrum no longer goes that vast and severe. I just go to bliss, and back to earth to handle… bills and other human tasks.

I learned in my meditation, that sadness does not have to become depression. I can be sad over something and not become depressed. It was, the holy grail of relization to my delicate beautiful mind.

I think this is why, I like to teach yoga to artists.  I know where they go. I know how to take them there physically, mentally spiritually and I also know, how to bring them here into the present moment. Into a world that most artist use drugs or anything else to deny them that. And once you become strong in the present moment, you become a conquerer of your dream. It’s such an exciting state to be in new  possibilities at every turn.

I no longer black out, I am able to handle any and many jobs. I also teach yoga to whomever I can whenever I can. I take yoga every day to help regulate my mind and keep me in state of “wellness.” When I am here in that state I am the most creative and productive and most importantly happy. So happy. I see how beautiful every moment of life is. And never take for granted the breath that I used to wish away.

 

The Samurai Warrior & the Zen Master

The Samurai Warrior and the Zen Master

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I’m going to tell you a story about a Samurai warrior and a Zen Master. The warrior was big and strong and had won many battles. The Zen Master was a rather small old man with merry eyes, and was well-known far and wide as being one of the wisest and kindest men in the land.

One day, the Samurai warrior went to the Zen master for instruction. “Please,” the huge man asked, “teach me about heaven and hell.”

The master scowled at the swordsman, then broke into mocking laughter. “Me, teach you about heaven and hell? I wouldn’t waste a moment trying to instruct the brain of an overweight ignoramous like you! How dare you ask me for such a lofty insight?”

Well, upon hearing these words, the Samurai grew furious. No one could insult him like this and get away with it. Enraged, his face flushed and he drew his sword to chop off the teacher’s head. Just as he was about to strike, the master raised his hand and calmly said “That, sir, is hell.”

Upon hearing this, the samurai suddenly realized the profound lesson the master had just taught him – that we make our own hell by indulging in anger and resentment. The warrior was so grateful for this teaching that he dropped his sword and fell to his knees in front of the Master, bowing in humility and gratitude. When he looked up, the old man was smiling.

“And that, sir,” the teacher noted, “is Heaven.

 

All of us have the power to create peaceful moments for ourselves.  When was the last time you took a restorative yoga class? It had been years since I took the time to go to a class that wasn’t a workout.  I task each of you to schedule time in this week to find a local yoga restorative class and allow your body to reenergize.

There is as much yoga in the pause, as there is in the pose. Namaste.

 

Yoga Saint

LE BLORR_FEELS_KAI_STILL_01_020213I think today, was my first encounter with a Saint.  Her eyes had the light of a thousand stars, her presence was so peaceful. Her name, is Lisa Walford.

Today I had the privilege of learning from her.  She taught me and my classmates Yoga for chronic illness.  After hours of deeply restful poses and profound words of wisdom, I emerged renewed.  Open. Vulnerable. Healed.  I looked at my reflection in the mirror when I got home and I noticed I looked “restored.” As if I had slept a thousand nights underneath a glimmering ocean of starlight.  As if I had awakened into myself.  Finally appearing through all the harsh realities that age us.  Her touch was as light as feather.  She adjusted my poses many times and instantly I clicked into bliss. I will never forget her words, and I will never forget her lesson which ended with this final prayer:

“May my heart grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”

 -Lisa Walford:

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Her resounding message over all, was care for yourself, care for others.  I am almost speechless about the experience but wanted to write down what little I could, although it hardly does her justice.

 

She is the definition of a Spiritual “It” Girl!